MUST Read - NYT: Good Grief, Nurse Brown
Oncology nurse Theresa Brown is a regular contributor to Well. Today she writes about how nurses cope with grief on the job.
(Jeff Swensen) Theresa Brown, R.N.
By Theresa Brown, R.N.
Dealing with work at work needs to happen, too, and as nurses we confront death, and our own grief, in specific ways. We make crass, unrepeatable jokes that people not in the know can find shocking. It’s a defense mechanism, and we recognize the humor for the release it is. Sometimes we cry and get angry, swear loudly, drink too much when we get home, and tease each other mercilessly on the floor.
Off and on we think hard about quitting, about doing nursing work that isn’t so continually sad. Different nurses, for different patients, go to viewings and funerals, and others, like me, have a rule about never going. We make rash promises not to get so attached, and then, after we meet our next round of patients, promptly break them.
Death is hard, but the really hard part about this job is not giving up hope. When I think about hope in the midst of so much despair, another image from “Peanuts” comes to mind. Who does not know of the many times Lucy has enticed Charlie Brown with a football perfectly placed on the ground for him to kick? She positions the football and convinces him that this time she will let him kick it, only to pull the ball away at the last minute as he’s rushing forward. Carried upward by the momentum of his aborted kick, Charlie Brown flies through the air screaming, “AAUGH!” and lands flat on his back, “WUMP!” In one strip, as Lucy holds out the ball to him, Charlie Brown asks, “How long, O Lord?” Lucy, standing over him after he has once again fallen for her trick, answers, “How long? All your life, Charlie Brown…All your life.”
A part of me looks at all our patients, those with new diagnoses and the old timers, and thinks, just as Charlie Brown does when he sees Lucy holding the football, “She must be kidding.” Then I, like all of us nurses in oncology, get into position and run my heart out toward the football.
Because unlike Charlie Brown, I know that sometimes toe will hit leather. The ball will soar away into the distance lost to sight. So many deaths, but at that moment, even if it’s only for a year or two, one patient’s time on earth preserved. Sometimes, one or two good kicks can be enough.
the most eloquent essay that i've read about healthcare professionals coping with grief on the job! that's saying something, being a follower of so many great medbloggers.
this is straight from the heart stuff; akin to stuff from people like Bruce Campbell, Rob (when he's not being zany), Theresa Chan, Buckeye, bongi, Sid Schwab, Michael Hébert, etc.
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